Okay, What The Hell Was That ‘Game Of Thrones’ Episode

Where do I even begin.

If you’re currently watching Game of Thrones then you’ve obviously been here for the previous seven seasons, so can we take a little stroll down memory lane for a second? Remember when Daenerys was The Breaker of Chains? Remember when Tyrion was always two steps ahead of everyone and was dependably smart? Remember when Arya went through that intense ‘a girl with many faces’ arc and became a calculated killing machine set on revenge? Remember how Jaime had grown a moral compass and his path had diverted drastically away from the one he had started on with Cersei? Remember when Cersei was the baddest bitch because she had lost absolutely everything and feared nothing?

Remember when thoughtfully developed character arcs and rich plots actually mattered?

Literally WHAT was the point of Jaime’s moral journey, Arya’s time with The Faceless Men, Cersei becoming the most hardened tyrant of the show, Daenerys liberating an entire continent and maintaining her values and loyalty to her people, Tyrion’s experience serving multiple rulers and ability to read the signs when things are going to shit, and basically everyone else’s arcs if they were all going to revert back to the same snivelling idiots they were in season one, or worse, devolve into even dumber versions of themselves? The only character they haven’t completely ruined is Sansa, because, well, she wasn’t on screen. But there’s still time.

But who needs good writing when you’ve got DRAGON FIRE and EXPLOSIONS and CLEGANEBOWL, RIGHT???

God.

This season of Game of Thrones is a calamity on par with The Red Wedding, and honestly I don’t even care who ends up on the iron throne anymore. I hope the Night King comes back somehow and kills everyone. I hope Drogon can suddenly speak in the finale and the whole episode is just him sitting down the remaining characters and telling them one by one what giant dumbasses they are. I hope the finale is literally just 90 minutes of watching Tormund and Ghost in the north cuddling next to a fire.

The only thing that’s comforting is that everyone seems to hate this season as much as I do.

















Published at Mon, 13 May 2019 19:40:31 +0000