Mitt Romney’s Birthday Cake Video Will For Sure Be The Weirdest 60 Seconds Of Your Day
Mitt Romney celebrated his 72nd birthday today in two very conventional human ways: with a birthday cake and blowing out the candles. Thankfully for all of us there’s footage of this going down, and usually I wouldn’t care about watching someone, much less Mitt Romney, blow out birthday candles but this is a moment in our history that the anthropologists of future civilizations will pick apart and try to understand for decades.
Let’s break this down.
So right out of the gate, Mitt Romney’s birthday cake is made of Twinkies.
First of all, anyone who has the audacity to stack a bunch of Twinkies together and call it a “cake” should be arrested. Secondly – and amazingly – this isn’t even the weirdest part of this video.
It gets weirder
So the “““““cake””””” is put down in front of Romney, and he reacts like any human would, with the most uncomfortable arm gestures as if he’s either an animatronic doll that walked off a The Purge themed ride (come on he does look a little bit like one of the masks from The Purge, you see it too right?) or like a space alien taking his new human suit for a spin for the first time. Either way – it’s weird.
AND IT GETS WEIRDER
Here it is folks, we’ve come to the crescendo, are you ready?
He blows out the candles….
BY PLUCKING THEM OUT OF THE CAKE
AND BLOWING THEM OUT ONE BY ONE
whAT
Ah yes, the birthday twinkies adorned with candles, to be extinguished one at a time, just like the humans do it
If you want to watch the video, which I highly recommend because this shit is bananas, here it is.
This is the most bizarre technique for blowing out birthday candles that I’ve ever witnessed. Mitt Romney is a deeply weird dude. pic.twitter.com/kLGuJawDpv
— Bradford Pearson (@BradfordPearson) March 12, 2019
And the internet all saw this and went, “hmm that’s odd but I won’t comment on it”
HAHAHAH, JUST KIDDING
“mitt romney tenderly plucks each individual birthday candle out of his cake and delicately blows it out before moving on to the next candle” is a genuinely hilarious bit and I’m absolutely furious that *reality* beat me to it
— chair admirer (@KrangTNelson) March 12, 2019
extremely normal and cool sir!
— chair admirer (@KrangTNelson) March 12, 2019
mike pence watching mitt romney birthday cake video: quite strange indeed, to blow on each candle rather than holding them under cool running water
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) March 12, 2019
a white cake with no nutritive value full of trans fats is exactly how I would describe you
— Linear Calzone Li’l (@karengeier) March 12, 2019
One year ago Mitt Romney blessed us with the knowledge that his favorite meat is hot dog, and now we learn that his favorite snack is Twinkie, the hot dog of cake products
— Helen Rosner (@hels) March 12, 2019
Published at Tue, 12 Mar 2019 21:53:12 +0000