Here’s The Best Way To Ensure A One-Night Stand Stays That Way
How to improve your sex life.
FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF
Sex tips are so incredibly LAME. The way that publications that put these out just keep recycling the most basic ideas makes me think that people are either incredibly dumb, or they have absolutely no memory, or the writers and therapists and scientists who actually come with these insights are unwitting pawns in an enormous conspiracy to recycle sex studies from five years ago, present them as new, sell magazines, and then get a cut of the profits from ad revenue for blackhead removal strips.
Am I positing that there may be an enormous sex advice industry conspiracy out there? Yes, yes, I am. Because how many times do we need to hear “Be proactive”, “Try a little Tantra”, “Approach from a new position”, “(Dirty) talk to your lover”, “For New Parents: Be Flexible & Communicate”, while also juggling the exact opposite conflicting advice like “SCHEDULE TIME FOR SEX”, “AVOID THE ‘CHASING DYNAMIC’”, “STOP FOCUSING ON SEX” — like seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL SEX.
That’s why a questionnaire, thoughtfully typed out in Microsoft Word, with clear boxes to check off, and nice ‘n easy lines for write-in answers, is so much more desirable.
For those interested in what the results of something like that might be, Vice wrote an article about it.
This level-headed approach to gather post-coital data comes to you via Wishful Genies.
”Quirky Dog” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
Check out more from the Funny Or Die community here and if you have something you think is worth featuring, make sure to submit it for review by the Funny Or Die team here.
Published at Thu, 14 Mar 2019 12:00:00 +0000