The Last Blockbuster Has A Twitter Account And It’s As Funny And Depressing As You’d Expect
So just to refresh everyone’s memories it’s the year 2019. VHS hasn’t been a thing in a very long time. In fact, physical copies of movies at all haven’t been a relevant thing in a very long time. Does anyone even own a blu-ray player anymore? Whether it’s Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime or CraveTV (shout out to Canada) everything is digital now. My parents still have a VCR but I honestly think there’s probably vines growing over it at this point.
This shift from VHS and DVDs has been a positive one, who misses having stacks and stacks of them and opening your favorite movie case to find out that your jerk roommate borrowed it and didn’t put it back?? Nobody. However, one surprisingly depressing result of the End of the Age of VHS is the hundreds upon hundreds of sad abandoned Blockbuster Video stores.
Like… SERIOUSLY depressing.
Moment of silence for my childhood please
But for if you still have a sense of nostalgia for Blockbuster, don’t worry, it’s moved into the computer age – sort of.
The last known Blockbuster has its own twitter account, and it’s perfect. The parody account tweets everything you’d imagine the last remaining survivor of its kind to tweet, from instance it’s go-to movies are predictably the ones that were popular back in it’s heyday – obviously still its biggest sellers.
Don’t. Reserve. White. Chicks. Unless. You. Intend. To. Rent. It.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) February 17, 2019
Watching films is a great way to discover a new fetish. Rent Antz (1998) today.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) June 27, 2018
However they have apparently been trying to modernize, so A for effort
We’ve got a range of Chris Pratt films, some where he’s a physical marvel and some he’s more normal and saggy. Find your perfect one today.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 8, 2018
And they do make some compelling arguments for themselves
Unlike Redbox, we’ll never tip over and crush your skull.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 29, 2018
Checkmate, Redbox
Instead of not renting try renting.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 2, 2018
Hmm. That’s an idea
Just a reminder that while Netflix was busy adding commercials to your experience we were busy adding ant traps to give you an ant free experience.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) August 20, 2018
They’re trying their best ok
One of the upsides of our fading popularity is you can bring your mistress in here and it’s highly unlikely you’ll run into someone you know.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) October 10, 2018
Look I don’t necessarily agree with this angle but I mean… they have a point
Staff morale at the last Blockbuster seems to be wearing thin, however
Sometimes even we don’t know if we exist or not.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 10, 2018
Oof, your movie rental comes with a free existential crisis
Goddammit, someone tricked Colleen into thinking Canadian coins were bitcoins and they strolled out with 4 boxes of Jujubes.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) January 3, 2018
COLLEEN you dumb idiot
Our employee of the month this month is Rachel but Colleen said it wasn’t because Rachel did so great but more that the rest of us were so shitty.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) November 16, 2018
No, Colleen, it was because a Canadian swindled you for Jujubes
We just caught Colleen making a serious financial decision for the store based on a magic 8 ball so that’s not good.
— The Last Blockbuster (@loneblockbuster) March 4, 2019
HOW HAS NOBODY FIRED COLLEEN YET
You should check out all of their tweets because they are hilarious but if you can’t be bothered, the entire account can basically be summarized with this:
Although the account was started in 2016, as of May 3 2019 the second last Blockbuster ever, located in Australia, is now closed. So that means this twitter account – while a parody – now actually symbolizes the real last remaining Blockbuster.
Stay strong, soldier.
Published at Tue, 05 Mar 2019 20:58:33 +0000