The Game Of Thrones Finale Was Trash But At Least It’s Over

I know you’re probably all sick of reading about Game of Thrones and listen, I’m sick of writing about it, so we understand each other. But let’s just get through this one last time. What can I say about this absolute dumpster fire of a season that hasn’t already been said?

Probably nothing but I’m gonna say some shit anyway.

Arya’s time with the Faceless Men and becoming the Westeros equivalent of a Jedi was basically for nothing, but it’s a cool set of skills to be able to throw onto a résumé I guess. And hey — at least gets to travel around the world now. I hope she at least steals a few people’s faces.

Jon went back to the Night Watch after killing Daenerys, because she flew off the handlebars and became another Mad Targaryen because we can’t have anything nice, which is good for him because let’s be real — Jon’s been kind of a little bitch this season.

Also: Dany deserved better. I will scream that from the rooftops. Etch it onto my gravestone.

Somehow BRAN, Mr. “I’m Not Gonna Do Shit All Season”, Mr. “BRB, Warging”, Mr. “I Knew That Was All Gonna Go Down And I Didn’t Do Anything To Change It”, ended up on the iron throne. Because, once again, we can’t have anything nice. Whatever Bran. Enjoy your throne you dick.

Ugh.

I’m gonna try and focus on the positives, because there are very, very few.

AT LEAST Sansa was made Queen of the North. Aside from Tyrion, she’s definitely the only one competent enough to actual rule anywhere. She earned this.

AT LEAST Ghost and Jon were reunited and we all finally got to see that long awaited behind-the-ear scratch for Ghost, the best boy in all seven kingdoms and beyond.

And AT LEAST we all get one more day of post-Thrones memes.

Published at Mon, 20 May 2019 19:40:50 +0000