Spider-Man Steps Up For Dance Off Dominance Over Mysterio

Spider-Man could use a dang vacation

Peter Parker (Tom Holland) had been looking forward to a relaxing European vacation. After all, when this friendly neighborhood Super Hero first decided to join his best friends Ned, MJ, and the rest of those youths, he wanted the trip to be a break from his hard-working, very much packed schedule of leaping from skyscrapers and catching buses and fighting crime while dressed in the most legendary leotard available from Amazon.com.

Peter Parker, you silly cretin — you should know better

Peter’s plan to leave the super heroics behind for a few weeks gets kiboshed hard when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) suddenly shows up in his hotel room, looking all eye patchy and vaguely reminiscent of Shaft. Guess what? It’s the end of the world. So Peter soon finds himself donning the Spider-Man suit but most importantly he dons his dancing shoes.

And let me tell you Spidey can dance:

Good luck, Mysterio, because you are gonna need it.

FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF

The Step Up movies remain one of my all time favorite dumb franchises. They are so insanely watchable — beautiful people dancing their molecules off to some of the best-worst pop music at the time in between truly epically bad dialogue exchanges — that I literally cannot NOT watch it, even if it’s on silent in an airport lounge, or even if it’s playing on the iPhone of the passenger in seat 5F on Delta flight 680 to Gainesville.

I mean look at it:

So adding a dancing Tom Holland AND Jake Gyllenhaal in the mix now you’re talking the definition of my dream movie. Because we actually have stakes that might justify one of the all time cheesiest lines from a dance movie, uttered by Moose in Step Up 3:

“People dance because dance can change things. One move, can bring people together. One move, can make you believe like there’s something more. One move, can set a whole generation free.”

I don’t know about you, but SPOILER ALERT, we’ve already seen that move. Here it is:

CREDITS

Published at Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:00:00 +0000