New Parents Sleep Training Their Babies Go So Hard

SLEEP TRAINING A BABY IS ONE HELLUVA PROCESS

Because at a certain point, the baby starts training you. Babies, even though they’re adorable, are small helpless monsters who provide INSTANT FEEDBACK. Baby looking tired? Stop what you’re doing immediately and take care of business. Car horn happens down the street? Baby doesn’t like that. One false move and it’s unleash the banshee wailing. This of course undoes all your efforts so far and, like Sisyphus, brings you right back on your ass with just the big ol’ rock of this tiny human to push up the sleep hill.

SO PARENTS. DO ANYTHING. TO KEEP THE TRAIN ON THE TRACKS.

The problem is that it’s not just the parents who’re affected. If they WERE the only ones affected, who cares, that’s not our problem. You had sex in the back of a Pontiac Aztek in the parking lot of a Chili’s and now have a baby pepper? Podium finish, that’s on you. But once it goes beyond the parents, when it hits other family members, or friends, that’s when it gets scary, and that’s when you can’t tell who’s the monster.

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Published at Mon, 21 Oct 2019 14:02:44 +0000