Apparently Noah’s Ark Only Had Male Lions

Whether you grew up in a religious household or not, the majority (or at least a fair chunk) of people in the western world are familiar with the tale of Noah’s Ark. Probably because, if you think about it just from a storytelling perspective, it kinda kicks ass. It’s got everything an epic story needs — a protagonist whom everyone doubts but ends up being right because fucking duh, direct contact with a higher power, a big ass boat (not necessary but honestly never a bad idea) and absolutely insane forces of nature resulting in chaos and mass destruction. It hits all the notes!

Oh, and it’s got a shit ton of animals, which is why it’s so popular with kids. I mean, everyone dies, like, literally everyone on earth dies, but there’s zebras and penguins and ponies so, hey — it’s still usable for toys and children’s books. And the designers of these toys and books and general child art all seem to agree on a few major points: the shape of the ark, the presence of a rainbow, and the fact that the lions on board were gay.

You could argue that this was a standalone incident, but as Anthony Oliveira points out, this is definitely the general consensus.

There were some exceptions

And a few times where the manufacturers seemed genuinely confused about exactly which animals would need to be saved with an ark

But all that aside the fact remains that the lions on board were definitely, irrefutably gay.

Published at Wed, 12 Jun 2019 21:39:13 +0000