A Pennywise Toy Literally Floated Into Someone’s Yard, Oh HELL No

Not everyone is a fan of horror movies. Personally I love them, but I get that some people are not into the idea of being scared on purpose, and I also know that some people just don’t find them entertaining, and that’s fine too. To each their own! But regardless of how you feel about horror flicks or whether you find them scary or not, we’ve all watched a few in our lifetimes and there are some things that they’ve managed to instill in most, if not all of us.

For example, a healthy fear of clowns.

I hate clowns so much dude. Like just so much. Growing up my parents would often record TV shows and movies on blank VHS tapes, and as I’m sure most of you will remember, you can record a whole lot of shit on a blank VHS. Those bad boys went on for HOURS. So to save space in the house and money, my mom would record multiple programs on a single tape.

Sounds good in theory, AND YET.

One day when I was five years old I wanted to watch Dumbo which was on one of said tapes. Once I’d found it, I knew I needed to fast-forward because Dumbo was the last thing on it. But I didn’t go far enough ahead, because when I pressed play I didn’t see any cartoon elephants.

I did, however, SEE A DEMONIC CLOWN

BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE FIRST THING ON THAT TAPE WAS STEPHEN KING’S IT

AND MY MOM FIGURED PAIRING THAT WITH DUMBO WAS A GOOD IDEA.

Suffice to say I completely understand having a fear of clowns. It makes complete sense. Clowns are evil, full stop. And that was just a clown on a TV screen, imagine if one were to, oh, I don’t know, float into your backyard.

A sweet unsuspecting New Jersey resident, Renee Jensen, was sitting in her yard, enjoying the sun with her boyfriend, just having a grand day as she so deserved, when out of nowhere A PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN DOLL COVERED IN WEIRD SYMBOLS FLOATED INTO HER YARD.

How did it float into her yard? WHO KNOWS, SHE DOESN’T KNOW, BUT IT WAS AIRBORNE AND SHE WATCHED IT HAPPEN.

Courtesy of Renee Jensen / Facebook

And what in the hell are those SYMBOLS?? CALL A PRIEST.

Although she didn’t immediately run to a church, she did call the cops who were “creeped out” (which, duh) but couldn’t do anything else about it, so she decided to deal with this terrifying clown doll herself — by burning it in her backyard, and then going to bed with a knife that night.

Which, if you ask me, is a completely reasonable response.

Courtesy of Renee Jensen / Facebook

Published at Wed, 21 Aug 2019 23:57:54 +0000