Pervert Cruise Commercial

We’re happy to announce that coronavirus has not derailed our plans for the annual Pervert Cruise!! It will set sail next week as scheduled.

The Pervert Cruise is a vital part of the US economy that must take place even if it will have a higher death toll than the Iraq war!

If you wanna expose yourself to COVID-19 in the worst possible environment while spreading it to over a dozen Island Nations, then this is the cruise for you! Congress gave us three trillion dollars in bailout money, and we put it all into building the tallest cruise ship of all time. 780 stories of fun that all fall over with just the slightest gust of wind!

Let our crew members strap you into little pig mass and oil up your little piggy bodies until you squeal like dying swine waiting for the sweet release of the slaughter house. Also – we need your help. Call your senator now and ask them to support the smoke on the water act, making it legal for us to set our cruise ships on fire at our discretion!

Don’t forget to take a dip in our pool that’s filled with the tears of all the employees, we forced to come back to work. (To all Circus Cruise Lines employees, we thank you for your service, and we’ll give each of you the sea burial, you useless peasants deserve!) and of course it wouldn’t be a Perverts Cruise without all the ships pipes bursting as soon as we set sail, giving everyone the opportunity to bang while the hallways fill with sewage.

This cruise is on the same ship that James Cameron plans to use to shoot his next film “Titanic 2 Avatar 5.” That’s right. This time the Avatars are on the Titanic.

Feel free to use our waiters as human tissues at any of our five star restaurants on board!

What’s our final destination? The Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch, which Circus Cruise Lines has purchased and renamed “the Pacific Ocean Garbage Resort and Mass Grave.”

Written by Lauren Thomas and Grace Thomas

Directed by Grace Thomas

Talent: Tamara Yajia

Published at Wed, 23 Sep 2020 12:45:00 +0000