Trump Meets Prince Of Whales, At Last Uniting America And The Sea

One of the most significant jobs of any world leader is foreign diplomacy and ensuring that global relations don’t come to a boil. For the sake of everyone’s security it’s important that we all get along swimmingly, and that’s exactly why Trump decided to dive into one of his “foreign government” talks that occur “everyday” with a monarch that has gone ignored by the world for too long.

The Prince of Whales.

We’re all here on the surface worried about foreign policy involving places like North Korea like a bunch of buffoons, but luckily for us our finless leader knows what relationships really matter — like the United State’s long-neglected ties to the whale community.

What have they been up to? How’s life as undersea royalty? No societal revolutions threatening to overthrow their family (pod?) yet? That’s nice. I guess whales are okay being under monarchical rule. How’s the weather down there? Hot and full of garbage? Sounds suspiciously like life above the water. Perhaps we aren’t so different after all. I, for one, am excited to see where our new friendship with the behemoths of the oceans leads. Perhaps we can unite and together finally defeat the biggest threat to everyone on this earth: windmills.

Published at Thu, 13 Jun 2019 23:49:39 +0000