Tam Gets Drunk and Watches ‘Shrek’ For The First Time

In her quest to catch up on an entire childhood’s worth of important movies, Tam faces her greatest challenge yet: admitting to the world that she’s never seen the 2001 Dreamworks classic, Shrek. It starred comedy behemoths Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, and John Lithgow, and Tam skipped it entirely.

Now she’ll finally consume both this important piece of cinema history as well as an entire bottle of wine. Here are some of our favorite quotes from the reactions that ensued:

“Horny for Shrek already, one minute in.”

“Why’s that guy fisting the 3 Little Pigs.”

“Shrek’s neck is thiiiick…”

“Do you think Snow White should’ve just had orgies with the Seven Dwarves?”

“Does Shrek have a tongue, though?”

“Since when is Robin Hood french? If he’s french, why’s his last name ‘Hood’?”

“Do you think that back in the cave man eras, humans dated animals? And it was okay?… Tesla loved a pigeon. He did… google it.”

“What am I looking at right now?”

“This is a work of art. Take down everything from The Louvre and put ‘Shrek’ up.”

Tam was late to the party on this movie and many others, as she grew up in Argentina where movies don’t exist. If you’ve got a favorite cult classic or childhood movie you think Tam should watch next, she probably hasn’t seen that either, so tell us about it in the comments!

CREDITS:

Writer: Tamara Yajia
Director: Ryan Bender
Editor: Paul Smith
Producer: Darren Miller

Published at Tue, 05 Mar 2019 15:00:00 +0000