Ode to Masks


AN ODE TO MASKS

Oh masks, oh masks,

Cute little face flaps

No bigger than a pigeon.

You protect me from diseases,

And allow me cover my unattractive face.

And for that

I want to thank you.

Oh masks, oh masks,

Jockstraps for the face.

A guy I went to high school with,

Thinks you are a hoax.

He is a Facebook incel now.

He thinks he knows better than doctors,

But once drank an entire bottle of mayonnaise

Just to get a laugh

Oh masks, oh masks

Why won’t people keep you on?

The other day,

A woman standing in front of me,

In line at the supermarket,

Removed hers just to cough,

And then put it back on…

Oh masks oh masks

Your elastic straps,

Are like workouts bands for my ears.

I have two muscular ears now,

Powerful like bodybuilders.

And for that I want to thank you

Oh masks, oh masks,

Thin strips of cloth

You can get designs printed on them

I had one custom made

That says

“I hate humanity” on it. (This line we don’t have to write out…cause we’ll have I hate humanity written on the mask)

People compliment me on the street

If I mass produce them.

I might make enough money

To buy myself an industrial pop corn maker

Oh masks, Oh masks.

Face diapers that cover up my bad breath

Cloaks for my adult acne

A new way to advertise my favorite brands across my mouth

Cheap and easy Street Fighter costumes

INDICATORS OF SELFLESSNESS

And for that…I want to thank You.

Published at Fri, 17 Jul 2020 13:00:00 +0000

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