I caught two brown people inside my house, eating my food, using my bathrooms, etc. Every time I called to them to “Stop,” they just kept avoiding me. I finally caught one by his arm, and he said to me “Dad, are you okay?” #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— I Resist (@bearandbugpapa) February 17, 2019

Driving along this morning, I noticed a motorist using their turn signals to indicate a change in direction. In MA, this is a sign of weakness, or that you’re not from here. The invasion has spread further north than originally thought. We’re doomed. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— P@paB34r (@PpaB34r1) February 17, 2019

Gas rationing has apparently begun. Service station attendant stopped at 4 gallons, and REFUSED to continue pumping. I demanded more. He pointed out that it was a motorcycle, and that the tank was full. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Sean (@MononymousSean) February 17, 2019

All’s well here in SE New Mexico. Sat on the porch watching nobody go by. It got windy. I saw tumbleweeds roll by. My chickens didn’t like the tumbleweed. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Mama Kin (@LittleMamaKin) February 17, 2019

I’m locked in the bathroom here in Idaho. Stop. Don’t know how much longer I can survive. Stop. My daughter is infected. Stop. First thing she says this morning: “Hola, daddy”. Stop. NORTHERN FAILSAFE BREACHED. Stop. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— MyIgnorance (@Is_Endlesssssss) February 17, 2019

Day 2. Out the window, I see the best men of my generation buying burritos at a taco truck.

Fools. Don’t they know we’re on the brink of having a taco truck on every corner?

I hunker down, eat a spoonful of mayonnaise and await the coming storm.#NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) February 17, 2019

I forget my ID, so the cashier at Whole Foods called the military police to kick me out and refused to sell me Kashi cereal or coconut water.

I was forced to drink tap water. This war is killing me. Send help. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Red™️ (@Redpainter1) February 17, 2019

My hipster coffee shop refused my plea to change their huevos ranchero to “rancher eggs”.

I was so saddened by their lack of patriotism, I could barely finish my latte and crepes.

#NotesFromNationalEmergency

— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) February 17, 2019

I admit I have great anxiety about stepping outside given the national emergency but I ran out of rum. I am trying to hunker down but I may have to take the risk & go to the bar later. Pray for my safety. This may be my last correspondence with you. #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— HawaiiDelilah™ (@HawaiiDelilah) February 17, 2019

Update, 8:20am, Day 3:

My wife is out of town. I can’t get a hold of her. I assure myself she’s still asleep.

In the process, I quickly realize we have no breakfast food.

This means I must venture out into the unknown that is NYC.

Pray for me #NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Nathan H. Rubin (@NathanHRubin) February 17, 2019

We’re hunkered under the bed here in Los Angeles. Mariachi music has been playing since last night and gets closer each hour. We have Duolingo on our phones and are hastily trying to learn Spanish.

#NotesFromNationalEmergency

— Brad Shreve (@BradShreve) February 17, 2019